omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
