i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
