you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
This house was built for laser tag.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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