Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
