He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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