OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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