Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
