eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
