is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize