I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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