It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
