I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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