what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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