There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Dignity is for republicans.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
