I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
