Duck Duck Cougar?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
