Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
