It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
