would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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