and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
