Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
