My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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