these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
