you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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