The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
