Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
