Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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