Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
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