it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
