I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize