Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Randomize
