also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
