i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
