I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
