It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
