and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's the barista slut.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
