toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
