Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
