I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Do vagina's smell?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
