Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Never underestimate the power of titties
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
