I have demons in me.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
a search helicopter?!
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
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