That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
