That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
