Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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