Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
