i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
