Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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