Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We need to get me chipped asap
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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