i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
