I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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