I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
