So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
