Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You may now shotgun with the bride
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
