Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
