no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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