8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
you would pick up someone in the library
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize