Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
