this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
