Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
