I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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