I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
