i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
